"We sympathise with the kuffars who got whacked today but the important thing now is to avoid Islamophobia. The attackers are Misunderstanders of Islam, which as we all know is the Religion Of Peace. Perhaps they misunderstood Qur’an 2:191 which says "Slay the unbelievers wherever you find them.” However eminent Islamic scholars have concluded that what the Prophet (pbuh) really meant here was " Do not slay the unbelievers wherever you find them.” Same with Qur’an 9:123 “Make war on the infidels living in your neighborhood”. This should be understood to mean “Do not make war on the infidels living in your neighborhood”.
How much clearer can it be? In any event such violence is unnecessary as French Muslims can take over the country by outbreeding the native French. That's how I became Mayor of London. I mean, in 1970 who'd have believed that in less than fifty years London's Mayor would be a malevolent uneducated terrorist-supporting Muslim dwarf? So there's no need for violence, our men should ensure that each of their four wives keep pumping out a new little Muslims every year and in due course we'll outnumber the native kuffars.
In the meantime I call for an ecumenical ceremony full of meaningless platitudes, to be followed by a candle-lit vigil by an army of deluded hand-holding White liberals. Hopefully the whole thing will then disappear down the memory hole, inshallah.
Meanwhile I'm off to Heathrow to welcome a new constituent from Pakistan, together with his eight wives and sixty children.
Driver!!"
Driver!!"