Point 1: We know, because everyone tells us, that if blacks and Whites mix freely they’ll get on like a house on fire (maybe not the best analogy, but anyway). However, we also know, again because everyone tells us, that Whites – due to their racism – do everything in their power to avoid mixing with blacks. So here’s my solution. Why not transfer black kids (you can't start early enough!) to White schools and Whites to black schools, to the point that every school's racial breakdown reflect the real America? We could call this ‘Proactive Translocational Integration’, although that's a bit of a mouthful. What about ‘Coaching’, or better again Bussing?
Point 2: We know that blacks suffer low self-esteem. This derives of course from the legacy of slavery and generations of contempt from Whites. So why not build their self-esteem by denigrating everything about whiteness and pumping up everything about blackness? For example we could have something like, I dunno, Black History Hour every year, wherein black accomplishments in science, engineering and culture can be celebrated. Now I had thought about Black History Day, and even Black History Week, but, despite my best efforts was unable to find enough material. In fact, if truth be known, I found it hard to find enough to celebrate in for even one hour.
But there’s a way around that too – and all in a good cause, you understand. What I have in mind here is to gently finess the actual story. So for example Rastus worked in the lab that developed the atom bomb, sweeping the floor and bringing in the coffee. We needn’t refer to this, just claim that he ‘was part of the team at Los Alamos’. The opportunities are endless, well, maybe enough for a full Black History Day. And, just to be sure, we could make it a criminal offence for anyone (any white person) to take the piss out of such achievements.
Point 3. Now as we’re constantly reminded, blacks are always portrayed unfavourably in the media. I mean, when do you ever see a black character in a Hollywood movie, and in the odd time you do aren’t they always shown as dumb, violent, thieving welfare bums? Of course. I suggest that they be portrayed as doctors and scientists, and generally wise, honest and noble. Do you ever see a black in an advertisement? Ok, they’re only 13% of the US population, but you’d imagine that just once in a while the privileged Whites would nod in their direction and make a token inclusion? So that's my third point, try to give blacks some favourable coverage in the MSM, and, on the odd occasion that they do step out of line, don't highlight the race of the perpetrator as is always done now.
Point 4. And now to my fourth and final and most important breakthrough idea. To compensate for the legacy of slavery, give blacks preferential treatment when it comes to gaining entry to prestige colleges and promotions at work. Even if they’re almost totally unqualified, give them the jobs! By definition, this must end all the inequality! I suggest that this initiative be called Positive Discrimination……. or Affirmative Action, or some such thing. Now I know this might result in planes falling out of the sky and bridges collapsing. But I unhesitatingly say that such would be a small price for ending the achievement gap.
Now I realise that some of these suggestions are a little bit crazy. After all, why would Whites willingly allow themselves to be queue-jumped at every phase of economic and educational activity, see their better qualified children passed over due to the colour of their skin, their race denigrated at every turn, the taxes going to compensate for what they’d see as black social incontinence?
I admit it, it’s a big ask. And achieving it would require a degree of social and mind control beyond the imagination of even a Stalin or a Pol Pot. Naw, forget it. White Americans would never go along with it.